You Might Be From The HOOD If...

-- You only have money on the first of the month.
-- You leave a social gathering with a plate.
-- You have a couch on your the front porch.
-- You leave a restaurant with silverware, sugar and jelly.
-- You ask 'know what I'm sayin ?' or 'know what I mean' after every statement.
-- You think "red" is a flavor for koolaid.
-- You can?t hold a glass because of the length of your nails.
-- The gold teeth in your mouth spell words.
-- You have three hairstyles in one.
-- You don?t have your own place but your child has a leather coat.
-- You will only do it "doggy style" to avoid messing up your hair.
-- You own some gold shoes
-- You have gold lipstick to go with your gold shoes.
-- You constantly press *69 and say did you just call here?
-- Your child can?t speak but can do the "Tootsie Roll".
-- Your son?s name rhymes w/ "Tyrell"
-- You named your child after a character on the "Young & The Restless"
-- You bring a four year old to an R-rated flick.
-- Your grandmother is under 40.
-- The rims on your car cost more than the car.
-- You drive a Mercedes Benz & live in the projects.
-- Your grandmother has a weave.
-- You?re male and three hoochies page you using code "1"
-- You will only do it "doggy style" to avoid messing up your hair
-- You sleep in a chair to avoid messing up your hair
-- the only real skirt you have is a pair of denim short with a flap in the front
-- the height of your hair is greater than the height of your head
-- Arts and crafts aids (glitter, paint, glue) are hair products
-- You believe the words "mother" & "father" are pronounced with a "V"
-- You don?t have a job but your nails and hair are done weekly
-- You get into a fight because someone stepped on your Allen Iverson sneakers
-- You think Tupac is still alive
-- You have cousin named "Stink", "Man" or "Boo"
-- Your daughter?s name starts w/ "La" and ends with "Qua" or "Ta"
-- If you use the word "peoples"
-- If you hold your window up with a book.
-- You only shop in stores that have a layaway.
-- You carry foodstamps in a money clip.
-- Orange & lime green are your favorite colors.
-- You wear a team jacket with your dress clothes.
-- You buy new clothes and leave the store wearing them.
-- You have two kids before the age of 16.
-- Your baby?s daddy is in jail.
-- You have ever been on Jerry Springer.
-- Your Kids Have Four Middle Names.


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